


Movies

by Moon6Shadow



Series: Poetry and Short Stories [8]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Autism, Don't copy to another site, Embarrassment, Gen, Hyperempathy, Mild Triggers, Poetry, Triggers, actually ace, actually aro, actually aroace, actually autistic, actually neurodivergent, actuallyautistic, movies - Freeform, neurodivergent, nsfw triggers, second hand embarrassment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-13
Updated: 2019-01-13
Packaged: 2019-10-09 10:18:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17405084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moon6Shadow/pseuds/Moon6Shadow
Summary: Hyperempathy, autism, aroace and movies.





	Movies

**Author's Note:**

> Triggers definition: In this sense, 'mild triggers' not major ones. More 'things that will make me need to leave the room temporarily because I can't watch' type trigger and 'I need to move right now' moments.

movies. 

movies, movies, movies. Where do you even begin with movies?

Shall we start with the fact I stopped watching Spiderman at that stupid phone call scene,

and am extremely far behind in the Avengers series despite being a massive fan?

 

Shall we start with the way I annoy my family by getting up and down, up and down, up and down? 

Shall we start with learning that finally, _finally_ out of some random event, 

we figured out the best way to cope with a noisy exit through a door was simply to keep the door open 

so I could leave and come back whenever I felt like it, with less chance of disturbing someone?

 

Shall we start with the number of times I have questioned the reasons why I struggle with movies

the family's frustration, resignation then acceptance that I couldn't sit still for movie night?

Can, we start with the way I never seem to watch the beginning of a movie 

but always get transfixed when I walk by?

Can we talk about how _easily distracted_ I am?

Can we talk about how I tell myself I don't have time to watch a movie

so I somehow spend hours procrastinating online instead?

Can we talk about sitting down to watch a movie or videos or something, _anything_

only to get distracted instead? Can we talk about trying to listen to a lecture video?

... actually lets not even go there

 

shall we talk about hours of time gone, watching videos on youtube

scrolling, transfixed

then the instant you sit down to watch something

nada, UGH!!

Can we talk about triggers

little annoying niggly things

can we talk about hyperempathy

secondhand discomfort and how it's the worst

can we talk about 'walk a mile in my shoes'

oh whoops I just did 

can we talk about time slipping through fingers

watching a fandom racing on ahead

can we talk about learning to love characters through fanfiction

watching cannon and deciding you like fanfics best

like being able to get inside the character's head

 

can we talk about crying and laughing and being LOUD

when we are meant to be sitting quietly

can we talk about learning to muffle tears

can we talk about that loathsome suspense movie

and hiding your face because you're not allowed to leave

(to my old school and movie raters,

there is no way in the world that movie was PG)

 

Can we talk about freaking out over 'little' things, 'odd' things

About things that make our skin crawl and fleeing out the door

About acting like a 'regular old' movie is a horror movie

About triggers to things people don't tag for

About guessing when the 'scene' is done 

so you can go back in

 

and then you have the rush, the magic of a good film

you have the films that take you away, far, far away

have the films that make you fly, make you giddy

that make you jump and dance

that make it so you can't stop watching, 

so you absorb every second of it

those films, those films, 

those films that remind you why it's worth it

even if sometimes you forget

even if sometimes it's safer to watch it alone

with your headphones, curled up in bed

 


End file.
